Joke joke joke?

THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! = I've got my period

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and

wallpaper... ..

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of

white

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not

going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game

on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get

used to it

Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until

he goes to sleep

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that

we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I

need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look

great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING "WHAT'S WRONG?".....

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain in the butt

I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam

THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy

"I'm tired" = I'm tired

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex

with you

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex

with you

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out

of this

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological

trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you" = Let's have sex now

"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look

any different!

"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a

deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex

with other guys

"I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress

and let's go home!!!

Joke joke joke?

yeah .. the joke is .. that all of this are real m8 ;) :))

Joke joke joke?

Well, since you know the code you should have no trouble pleasing any more!! LOL

Joke joke joke?

funny

Joke joke joke?

boring theres a new one for you

Joke joke joke?

Haha! Guffaw Guffaw!

Joke joke joke?

I've been married for 24 years (or is it 42?) and you hit everything right on the head.

Joke joke joke?

Um....Real "funny." It's not stereotyping- but I find it offensive.

Joke joke joke?

i love it!!!

Joke joke joke?

HA HA HA,

those were HILARIOUS!!!

Joke joke joke?

haha thats a good one LOL

Joke joke joke?

GOOD INFO AT LEAST NOW I KNOW WHAT MY BF MEANS WHEN HE SAYS SOME OF THIS STUFF!!!!

Joke joke joke?

i think u kind of under stand both sex but i dissigree with some of the female ones.

Joke joke joke?

I thought the man to female was funny.

Joke joke joke?

I got a kick out of majority of those. We woman don't always mean different things... at least not all the time... maybe a lot... ok, so we do, 'do what you want.' (use the guide)

Joke joke joke?

Hecka funny. Thats like 100% true. LOL 閳?br>Joke joke joke?

that was gay